


Jim Pickens and the Forged Hogwarts Letter

by relatablemess



Category: call me kevin - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23846320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relatablemess/pseuds/relatablemess
Summary: This is a short, cringey, crappy, fever-dream of a one shot. I made an AO3 account just to post this. Enjoy :)
Relationships: Hagrid/Jim Pickens
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	Jim Pickens and the Forged Hogwarts Letter

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short, cringey, crappy, fever-dream of a one shot. I made an AO3 account just to post this. Enjoy :)

Jim was no stranger to magic, but the legends of a man who rivaled him in terms of sheer good looks were too much to bare. Jim had to see for himself if the rumors were true. The opportunity to stir up a bit of mischief didn't hurt either. So he headed off to Hogwarts with a forged acceptance letter in his pocket, leaving his beloved prisoners, er, family behind.

Jim arrives at the school, the cool fall air tickling his face. Students swarm around him. They all talk excitedly about the feast that awaits them and the rumors of the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Jim could care less about any of that. More than once a child who wanders too close to Jim faceplants onto the floor. Amidst the stumbling, accident prone students, Jim's eyes sweep the hallway for the large half giant man named Hagrid.

It doesn't take long to find him. Hagrid is helping shuffling sniveling first years line up for the sorting hat. Jim, with his letter in hand, pushes his way to the front of the line. The children protest indignantly. The gray haired man sticks out among the doughy faced students and Hagrid, upon seeing this sight, heads over to him.

"Uh, sir, aren' yeh a bit old to be 'ere?"

"I've got a letter," Jim says as he hands over the piece of paper. Hagrid glances it over.

"Tis 'as to be a mistake. I'll 'alk to Dumbledore about tis."

Jim places a hand on Hagrid's arm. His fingers stroke the brown fabric of the man's jacket. Jim looks up into Hagrid's beautiful dark eyes, a stirring feeling growing deep inside of Jim. Hagrid is by far one of the most handsome men Jim has ever seen, perhaps more handsome than even Grimm. The rumors are true. How dare a man be so good looking and not in Jim's arsenal of lovers! Jim knows now what he must do.

"That won't be necessary. Why don't we just go back to your hut and discuss this?"

"But Dumbledore..." Hagrid begins to protest, but he's cut off by an incredibly persuasive wink.

"Come along, handsome."

Jim take Hagrid's hand and begins to drag him away from the children. Through the winding corridors they go. Left, then left, then left again. 

"Do you know where we're goin'?" Hagrid asks. 

Jim shakes his head. Although he may have caused a delay in their arrival to Hagrid's hut, this extra time has given him time to plan. Jim knows exactly how he's going to seduce such a hunky man.

Hagrid takes the lead, saying something about staying in his hut until the sorting hat ceremony is over. Jim only half listens as he takes in the sight of the man in front of him. The luscious chocolaty mane, his dark eyes, his hulking body. It's almost too much for Jim to bear. 

As they arrive at the hut just outside the school boundaries, Hagrid holds open the door for Jim. As he shuts the door, Jim assumes the position. He begins to twerk, his ass shaking so rhythmically, so hypnotically, that Hagrid can't look away. The act is a spell within it's own right. 

When Jim is finished dancing, Hagrid goes to him, bends down, and kisses him passionately. The tension between the two is thick with lust. Jim's tongue writes spells inside the larger man's mouth, wrestling for dominance.

Hagrid's hands rest on Jim's waist and he lifts him up onto the giant bed. Jim looks to Hagrid, quirks an eyebrow and says: "Wanna woohoo?" When Hagrid nods, they duck under the sheets for a passionate woohoo session.

After the tantalizing and magical experience, Jim rests his head on Hagrid's hairy busom. For a moment, it's as if they're normal lovers. But Jim is anything but normal, and he has one last thing to do. 

"Well, this was fun, but I must get going," Jim says. He stands and gets dressed, brushing dirt off his clothes. He fixes his hair with his fingers.

"But ye just got 'ere."

Jim ignores Hagrid's comment and begins whistling to himself as he heads out of the hut. As the cool evening air hits his face, he turns to face the magnificent castle.

With his first goal of meeting Hagrid complete, he sets off to finish his second goal: mass chaos. He strolls back up the hill, feeling pleased from his encounter with Hagrid.

As Jim approaches the school, he snaps his fingers. The castle bursts into an inferno of angry flames. Students come pouring out of the school, professors waving their wands frantically. They look for the culprit but Jim has already disappeared.

....  
As Jim arrives home, Grimm appears to be heading out.

"Where are you going?" Jim asks.

"There was a fire up at Hogwarts," Grimm says as he dons his hood. "Why?"

Jim doesn't respond. Instead, he just smiles and laughs as Grimm teleports away.


End file.
